Tuesday, December 16, 2008

While Standing in Line at the Post Office

While Standing in Line at the Post Office



poetry in

holiday postal


a quick glance

from this marvelous

bit of personification


an old man rifled by

Lou Gehrig’s


his tender

hands clutching

a pile

of Christmas correspondence

he looses hold

and the letters

sprinkle down

like a brief

holiday snow

1 comment:

Guy Mayhem said...

I like this one a lot. I like that it starts one place and moves to this quiet moment. I feel like it isn't striving for something it's not. The words don't ring too loudly as poetry.

I do wonder at the line lengths though. I feel like they are cut arbitrarily at times. I wonder if longer line lengths would serve to make more complex meanings.

Good stuff. I'll keep going through your other poems. We need to trade via email. You should send me three poems you're working on or you want looked at.