Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Deaf and Dead

Deaf and Dead

Step out of your
shanty
and join me
at the banks
of the Nile
We'll cast our
eyes 'bout
the Sahara
counting
one
two
counting the sands
three four
the pounding sands
five
six
to say farewell
to the deaf
and dead

As always please comment

4 comments:

Allen Family said...

Good Job. I really liked the poem

jejacobson said...

Interesting correlation between deaf and dead, especially after the pounding sands. I wonder why three four is on the same line while one/two and five/six get their own. I like the sound of counting...counting sands...pounding sands...to say.

On a side note, how's that story coming? Haha, me neither!

William Michaelian said...

I like it. You might almost say that it sounds more than it means, if that makes sense.

I wonder: shouldn’t you remove the apostrophe from “eye’s” and use it instead in front of “bout”? Or am I missing something?

S_Allen said...

You are correct sir - fixed