Friday, February 20, 2009

Silence

Silence

Walk into your bathroom.
(Just do it.)
Sit down on the sweating floor,
take a towel - still
damp from this morning's
shower - and stuff
it under the door.
Turn off the light,
close your eyes,
and listen.
The train will pass soon,
but will you hear it?
And will you hear
when that asshole neighbor
downstairs starts
banging his hip hop?
Will you hear the drip
or rush of
water in your own bathroom?
No,
because you are the only
human alive
in the world.

As always comments are welcome

2 comments:

Joseph Hutchison said...

I like this a lot, Scott. The sound line to line is tight and appropriately ... obsessive? (Not sure that's the word.) The repetitions work...

You know from the back and forth on my blog that I have no problem with closure, but here, your "No" is (I think) not the right move. The poem up until that line is all about suspension, and I think you should carry that gesture out. "Wait" instead of "No"? Not sure. But think about why being in the only human alive would keep "you" from hearing the bathroom water drip....

Sorry to be so inarticulate!

S_Allen said...

Thanks for the suggestion Joe.