tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7564671139031882281.post1371209083327786101..comments2023-05-14T02:40:39.148-06:00Comments on Scorched Amalgamation: SilenceMr. Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13801415700353288327noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7564671139031882281.post-25898107299971196342009-02-21T17:54:00.000-07:002009-02-21T17:54:00.000-07:00Thanks for the suggestion Joe.Thanks for the suggestion Joe.Mr. Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13801415700353288327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7564671139031882281.post-10360204907778289062009-02-21T08:43:00.000-07:002009-02-21T08:43:00.000-07:00I like this a lot, Scott. The sound line to line i...I like this a lot, Scott. The sound line to line is tight and appropriately ... obsessive? (Not sure that's the word.) The repetitions work...<BR/><BR/>You know from the back and forth on my blog that I have no problem with closure, but here, your "No" is (I think) not the right move. The poem up until that line is all about suspension, and I think you should carry that gesture out. "Wait" instead of "No"? Not sure. But think about why being in the only human alive would keep "you" from hearing the bathroom water drip....<BR/><BR/>Sorry to be so inarticulate!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com